IMG_3936Joe Devoy for President – 2016

My fellow Americans; I, Joe Devoy, am running for President.  That’s right, today I launch my campaign to take back our country, to make it great again, to launch change you might be able to  believe in.  Joe “Not just beer” Devoy!

Voe Joe “Not just beer” Devoy for President!

After considerable thought, and some very deep conversation with my family, I have decided I can not sit back any longer and I need to throw my hat in the ring.  For the American people, for you, for all the people out there that have had enough of the other douches, I’m your man!

Voe for Joe!

My campaign platform will be based on the following inalienable rights that we have as Americans!

Voe for Joe!

  • If you are old enough to die, old enough to vote, you are old enough to have a pint.  Not only old enough, your country will buy you your first beer as congratulations on not having to live with your crazy parents anymore.  Voe for Joe!
  • I am going to make all illegal drugs legal and all legal drugs illegal.  That’s right all illegal drugs are now legal and all that stuff that will kill you like Oxycodone is illegal.  Voe for Joe!
  • As regards foreign policy, there shall be no American involvement in any wars, unless the Commander In Chief (Me!), and his whole war cabinet sign up to fight on the front lines for the first six months of the war.  No chance I’m fighting on the front line, so your sons and daughters are safe.  Voe for Joe!
  • Mandatory happy hour every Friday at 3pm.  No exceptions.  Voe for Joe “Not just beer” Devoy!
  • Retirement age reduced to 50.  The work week will be reduced to 20 hours with Mondays being optional.  Voe for Joe!
  • The White House will be turned into the world’s best frat house, just with a cleaning person and good beer.  Forget selling nights in the Franklin suite to the highest donor. If you can say “Suzy Suzy sitting in the shoe shine shop, all the day she sits and shines, all the day she shines and sits” fast 10 times in a row you are in.  Voe for Joe!
  • I am going to change the oval office to a circular one because I like circles better.  Voe for Joe!
  • My fiscal policy would be best described as irresponsible.  Make sure everyone has enough, and if we run out print more, pay everyone a ton of money for their 20 hour week.  Voe for Joe “Not just beer” Devoy!
  • I am going to build a wall around Wall Street and the Capitol building.  I will hire Irish and Mexican lads to build this wall.  Voe for Joe!
  • Lastly I know “Voe” should be “Vote,” but if Donald Trump can say crazy stuff like he is a successful business man, and Hillary can say mad things like she cares about the working man, I can make up my own word.  So Voe for Joe and my campaign promise to you is that I am crazy, but a little less crazy than all those whack jobs running against me!

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Voe for Joe “Not just beer, he drinks whiskey, too” Devoy !

Change that you might or might not be able to believe in.

 

Voe for Joe!

Slightly less crazy than his opponents.

 

Voe for Joe!

The rhyming king

With the hairy chest

Medallions of bling

Able to fix this mest (see what I did there)

 

Voe for Joe!

A voe for Joe is a voe for free beer for America

 

Voe for Joe!

Fiscally irresponsible, so much more fun that way!

 

Voe for Joe!

Retire at 50, you deserve it!

 

Voe for Joe!

Suzy Suzy sitting in the Shoe Shine Shop party

 

Voe for Joe

Circles are better

 

A Voe for Joe is a Voe for your inalienable rights (I am admitting here I don’t know what inalienable means) !

A Voe for Joe is a Voe for America, well, and maybe Ireland, and come to think of it I like Nepal, too. And Colorado and Wyoming and California, and I can’t forget Brazil and Alaska.  So I guess a Voe for Joe is a Voe for everywhere. Well, everywhere except Long Island. The traffic is too bad there, and it makes the people angry.  Well you get the point: Voe for Joe “Not just beer” Devoy!

A Voe for Joe means you do not have to vote for one of the other whack jobs!

Voe for Joe

Donald, Hillary, or Joe: which one is more American?   Joe: more American than French fries, Budweiser, or Kraft macaroni and cheese.

Voe for Joe

He can make a difference (as long as it is not a Monday)

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Voe for Joe

He can make up his own words!

Voe once

Voe often

Voe before you grow

Voe before you go

Voe for Joe

Voe for Joe

Voe slow

Bo know’s Joe

Voe for Joe!

Voe for Joe!

 

And lastly Voe for Joe “Not just beer, he drinks whiskey, too” Devoy and you will lose weight. It is guaranteed. Forget P90X, Medifast, Weight Watchers; just Voe for Joe and lose 10lbs instantly.  Voe for Joe “I am running for president and can make up whatever crap I want” Devoy.

 

Find us on the world wide web at:

www.voeforjoeslightylesscrazythantherestdevoy.com

www.voeforjoenotjustbeerdevoy.com

www.voeforjoedifferencemakerexceptmondays.com

www.voeforjoeinalienablerightslikewhiskeydevoy.com

www.voeforjoefiscallyirresponsibledevoy.com

www.voeforjoemakeloveyouaintgettingmyassonthefrontlinedevoy.com