Joe Poops a Lot Devoy!
So as I sit here drinking a blob of green murky gunk that resembles “the slime people – up from the bowels of the earth” (more about bowels later). I am three days in. I strongly recommend Googling “the slime people” – a hell of a movie. Other than killing one son and eating the other I have to say I have pretty much enjoyed the experience.
Saturday was D-day – no coffee, no bread, no cheese, no pasta, no processed food, going to stop the list here as although amazed at the long list of stuff I can’t eat. Every time I list it, my stomach goes whoosh and my heart goes whoop.
So here is what I have figured out so far:
- Fruit and veg blended up in a blender actually taste good!
- It is amazing how inventive you can get when you want to be.
- I am really grateful that I am not doing it on my own, so thank you to Martha and Julie because with out you I would have failed already.
- Everything is processed.
- Two teenage boys take great satisfaction in pointing out and then eating all the things you cannot eat.
- When you eat a lot of fruit, vegetables and beans strangely enough you poop a lot. And I do mean a lotttttttttttttttt!
- Thinking of changing my name to Joe “poops a lot” Devoy.
- Although it takes some time to organize yourself for the day, once organized it actually is kind of easy.
- Example – I walked into Starbucks (don’t judge me please) and all I could have was a naturally decaffeinated tea.
- I walked into Pizza Hut and could have nothing.
- The official weigh in was 237.4lbs. Weigh in on Sunday as opposed to Saturday because I forgot.
- I really miss Pita chips.
- I poop a lot.
Lastly and maybe most disturbingly, I am an addict. I smoked for 25 years of my life and the hardest thing I ever went through was quitting cigarettes. Headaches, anxiousness, shaky, bad temper, sweats, loss of focus, mind telling me all the time that one cigarette will cure this, will make all the pain go away.
This amazingly feels the exact same, whatever they have been putting in my food I am addicted to it. The withdrawal has been the same as if I was giving up cigarettes. Waking up in the middle of the night sweating and shaking. Anxious at times I should not be anxious. Constant headache but not in a place I would ever get a headache. The focus of a teenager. Cranky and all the time my mind saying that you can cure this, all it takes is a sandwich, all it takes is a pizza.
So as I suck down the last of my slime, a little sad that I have no more, it is with great enthusiasm that I keep moving forward into the great unknown. It has been fun so far and I only have 56 days 14 hours and 38 minutes left to go!
Keep on Rocking in the free world!